Help
THINK POSITIVE
Focus on your personal confidence goals and write them down in the present tense, as if they're something you've already achieved (eg. 'I am positive about life').
Studies show that writing something down makes you more committed to it: pick a friend you trust and share your goals with them - you will increase your chance of achieving them by 33 per cent.
Finally, think of a short, catchy way to encapsulate your main confidence goal and transform it - right now - into your computer password. Every time you log on as 'I feel good', you'll be giving yourself what psychologists call 'positive affirmation'.
LOSE THE BACK STORY
Change the way you see your old self by placing any negative memories into an out-of-focus black-and-white TV set in your mind.
Imagine those uncomfortable scenes being played out on an old TV in another room. Pause the picture and peer at this small grainy image of yourself. Repeat until negative emotions ease off.
Now imagine you're at the cinema in front of a huge 3D screen watching a film of your new confident self in action. Make the images sharp, and turn the volume up high. The brain reacts to positive imagery.
The more you downplay the bad stuff and visualise the good, the more you'll start to make lasting changes. If there's someone in your life who intimidates you, just spend a minute altering the way you think about them. Imagine them belching, naked, on the loo - anything that makes you laugh. Notice how different you now feel about them.
CONFIDENCE COLLAGE
Gather a few confidence-boosting photos (pictures of you happy, on holiday), think about how fantastic they make you feel. I f you're feeling creative, make a digital collage (try a free website such as shape collage.com) and use it as the screensaver on your phone.
Whenever you need a last-minute confidence boost, a quick peek at your collage should be enough to tap into those upbeat emotions and trigger confident thoughts. If you've felt a certain way in the past, you can again.
The same applies to music. Create a 'confidence' playlist, thinking of times when you were really confident. Those memories will re-appear when you hear the music.
LET YOUR BODY LIE
Body language is a reflection of your level of confidence, and subtle changes in the way you hold yourself can be enough to trick your brain and change the way you feel. If you know how to physically project confidence, you will start to feel confident, too.
* Open your arms: crossing your arms forms an unconscious barrier which is generally perceived as defensive and negative. Un-crossed arms look open and relaxed.
The same applies to crossed legs, but if you must, try to point your crossed legs towards whoever you are communicating with to project a more positive and confident image.
When standing ensure your feet are pointing towards the other person - not towards the nearest escape route!
* Smile: studies show that when we smile, feel-good chemicals are released in the brain, and we project a relaxed and confident image that portrays happiness. The more we smile, the more positively people will react, boosting confidence.
* Hold your head up high - having your head down signals low confidence and self-doubt.
CONFIDENT HANDSHAKE
A confident handshake is a more subtle manoeuvre. The standard handshake should see both hands on the vertical (thumbs on top). It is regarded as passive (and under-confident) to offer a palm-up hand for shaking, and the dominant alpha-male (or female) may unconsciously go for a shake with their hand palm down.
If you want to concede authority to someone (say in a job interview), allow them to take the 'upper hand', but if you don't want to concede power, subtly turn the other person's hand upwards, so you end up with both on the vertical. They are unlikely to notice, but the message will have got through.
