[GentlemanREDUX.com]

Hey Everyone - do you mind looking at this blog post that I wrote on the topic? I'm planning to talk about the topic at a bit more length in a book that I'm working on adapted from the topics of my blog.



Here's a little back story from the post:

So I was having a discussion with my friend Kyla 2 days ago & the topic of an ex-girlfriend and I being friends came up.

Somewhere in the talk – she mentioned my ex-girlfriend as an “option” for me in the future. A claim I quickly denied on the grounds that we’re going to stay buds because there’s certain lines I won’t cross. Kyla then went on to rant about “what lines?”, and I (being a geek who has a whiteboard) quickly began to draw out a diagram of the 3 lines I don’t think people should play with (all at once – I’ll explain later) if they intend to stay “Just Friends”.

Today I’d like to tell you about my theoretical lines by walking you through a finished version of my little chart.

Here's the link to the post: http://bit.ly/mzUsJo

Thanks in advance to anyone who chimes in.

[Amelia]

It is interesting to read your theories! But I wouldn't agree with this onw. It is mentioned that in order "to loose a friend" one needs to cross the 3 lines at the same time, but Sexual Activity (one of the lines) is not for friends. 'Friends with benefits' is a sick thing!

[GentlemanREDUX.com]

Amelia, on 04 July 2011 - 04:37 AM, said:

It is interesting to read your theories! But I wouldn't agree with this onw. It is mentioned that in order "to loose a friend" one needs to cross the 3 lines at the same time, but Sexual Activity (one of the lines) is not for friends. 'Friends with benefits' is a sick thing!

Haha - thanks for responding Amelia. "Sick" is such a strong term. I'd call it many things (inconvenient, fun, unwise, practical, impractical, etc.)- but never that. When I think "sick" I think of pedophilia or necrophilia. Anywho - that's an admittedly tricky part of the theory because it really does depend on the type of person. The only reason it made the list and isn't seen as a definite killer of a friendship is because so many people do it and are just fine. Have I done it? Yeah - but would I recommend it - "no". However the person it was with and I are still the best of friends. I really appreciate the comment and will definitely make mention of it when I do my longer write up in the book. Why do you think it's sick (if you don't mind me asking)? I'm always open to a new perspective.

[Amelia]

Well, I guess I have to agree that term sick is too strong. Maybe I'm somewhat conservative, but sex is not just sex for me. I believe that it is more connected with love and emotional attachment to a person. I would never have sex with a person I don't love.

[GentlemanREDUX.com]

I see - well I definitely don't think you're alone in that category. Conservative or not - sex isn't just sex for a lot of people. I'm glad you touched on that. You may have even inspired another topic on my end :-)