[Mary]

If you're experiencing a decrease in libido, you are not alone. For most people, sex drive is like a roller coaster -- one minute it's up, the next, it's down. Well there are a number of things that could have caused things type of problem. Some of these problems can be caused by some psychological problem while others may be the result of our bodies aging. Here are some of the most frequent causes of decreased sex drive.


Alcohol- A few drinks to loosen you up might not really loosen you up. Alcohol actually numbs your sex drive and may cause you to forget about sex (if only for a little while). If it doesn’t the chances are your partner isn’t going to be too “in the mood” by your sexy slurring of words, and inability to stand up. You’ll have to worry about getting the bedroom before you even think about performing in the bedroom at that point.

Lack of Sleep- If you are waking up too early or going to bed too late then chances are you’re going to be extremely tired. Being fatigued severely lowers your sex drive. Try going to bed much earlier. If you suffer from insomnia talk to your doctor about some medications that will help you sleep.

Negative Body Image- When you don’t think you look good, you feel even worse. Low self-esteem is a major cause for low sex drive. Some people convince themselves that they are overweight even if they aren’t and it plays negatively in their love life and can even lead to serious problems with their health. Try to remind your partner that you love the way they look. If that doesn’t work ask them to work out with you. Working out boosts self-confidence and boosts sex drive.

[Mary]

Stress- Stress is probably the most common reason for a low sex drive. Some people become stressed out at work, especially if there is a big, important proposal due next week. Some people (especially now) have been faced with stress due to financial problems. Try to look online or talk to your doctor about some stress management techniques.


Relationship problems- If there are problems in the relationship odds are there will be problems in the bedroom. Try talking some things out with your significant other. Communication is very important in a relationship. If there’s been a betrayal of trust, such as a cheating spouse well then some people may not get over that and find out it’s time to move on.

Aging - Age is responsible for many unwelcome changes in our bodies: loss of bone mass, susceptibility to illness, painful joints, gray hair, decreased appetite, incontinence, sleep disorder, wrinkles, sagging flesh . . . and yes, decreased sexual desire. Menopause and decreased testosterone production are the main reasons for the decrease, but fear, anxiety, and depression about aging can also affect your sex drive.

If you're female and going through menopause, it's important that you understand the changes taking place in your body. In some cases, seeing a doctor about medical treatment for the physical changes can help make sex more enjoyable. Estrogen, in a variety of forms, increases the flow of blood to the vagina and increases arousal, which may positively affect desire. Hormone therapy that includes low-dose androgens has been shown to be particularly effective at increasing low desire. Also, don't forget that something as simple as using extra lubricant can be remarkably effective if you're experiencing the common side-effect of vaginal dryness.

If you are male, decreased levels of testosterone may be affecting your level of sexual desire. Talk to a therapist or doctor about your alternatives. Your doctor may prescribe testosterone, but the dosage must be carefully monitored, as too much of the hormone can cause depression and other side effects. In addition, it is not clear how safe it is to take the hormone for a long period of time. Alternatively, Viagra® might be good option. Regardless, you need to speak to your doctor first.

Sexual Abuse - Victims of sexual assault or abuse often have a difficult time experiencing physical intimacy. It's no wonder: We're encouraged to take time to let our bodies and minds heal, but little attention is paid to our sexuality. Don't despair -- many people have been able to have healthy sexual relationships even after a sexual assault; with counseling, time, and patience, you can be one of them. Do take as much time as you need. Don't let anyone (including yourself) pressure you into becoming intimate again until you're ready.

[Mary]

and unfortunately LIFE itself

As we take on more adult responsibilities, the strong desire for sex that we experienced in our youth often takes a huge nosedive. Between work, kids, friendships, school, hobbies, volunteer work, homemaking, and exercise, there just doesn't seem to be time for sex. When we do get a minute of free time, often the last thing we want to do is spend it in an amorous cuddle. Watching TV, reading a good book, or stealing a few extra minutes of sleep can seem so much more gratifying. It's not that we don't want to have sex, it has just become a low priority.

Sex, however, is an important part of an adult relationship. Just as we need to make time for ourselves, we also need to make time for our partners. Scheduling sex into your calendar may make you giggle, but if that's what it takes -- do it! Designate a night or two a week to spend quality romantic time with your partner. Make a game of it: Take turns bringing something new to the bedroom, such as a sex toy, illustrated book, video, or technique. By planning ahead, you're making a commitment to yourself, your partner and the relationship, a commitment you'll keep -- just as you'd keep a meeting you scheduled with your best friend, your child's teacher, or a business associate.

also i've heard that birth-control pills can negatively influence libido, but i'm not really sure...

[Bella]

Mary, on 05 April 2011 - 02:20 PM, said:

and unfortunately LIFE itself

sounds discouraging

[Veronica]

very sad.. i do sleep little, work too much, get stressed daily.. if these facts are true soon my libido will be decreased to almost zero level..